More than a look at marriage and family: lesson 2
In last week's lesson we started to look at the chart of the three umbrellas but we did not get to far in to the study when we took a pause to discuss in greater detail the significance of 1 Cor. 11:3 and Eph. 5:22-24
Could you give me a brief review of what we learned in last week concerning women/wives in the new testament church.
Could you give me a brief review of what we learned about Aquila and Priscilla and what we see from them concerning couples in ministry?
As we move on to today lesson it is important to keep what we learned from last weeks lesson in mind as it will serve as s foundation for all that will follow in today's lesson concerning this second umbrella.
The Husband:
The husband, the second umbrella comes with two (what are assumed to be) responsibilities.
As we have already discussed in detail the wife is under the husband's authority in the family there is no need to revisit that now; what we do want to look at is what is assumed to be the responsibility of the husband towards his wife and children. A brief look at the chart and the word of God shows that the chart does not give a complete and accurate illustration of these responsibilities.
Does the Bible say that the husband is to protect and also provide for the family? Well let us look and see what the Word of God does say about the responsibilities of the husband.
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Eph. 5:25-33
Concerning Protection:
The illustration does not indicate whether "protect family" is physical protection, spiritual protection or both.
in vs 25 what do we see the husband is suppose to be like towards his wife?
What comparison are we given to convey this selflessness expected from the husband?
"The husband is to be willing to lay down his life for his wife just as Christ was willing to lay down his life for the church."
Throughout the New Testament we always see the comparison of Christ and the church with the husband and his wife. All that Christ has done for his church the husband is expected to do for his wife this includes being willing to lay down his life for the sake of his wife.
As we look at vs 26 could someone please read it?
"The husband is to wash his wife in the word of God just as Christ did for the church so that he can be able to present her to God without spot or blemish."
What other form of protection do we do see the husband is to provide his wife?
The husband is to protect his wife not only physically but spiritually as well.
Lets now take a closer look at this other category concerning provision:
Could we please read vs 33 again?
"He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church for we are members of his body,"
What do we see here in the area of responsibility for the husband?
The husband must make sure that the needs of his wife are met just as his own needs are met. If he loves his wife he loves himself.
There are a few problems with this simplified illustration of the family:
Could we please read vs 31 now on its own.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
At this point we see one of the first glaring problems with this illustration of umbrellas. Just as we abide in Christ and he in us so to the husband and wife have become one. The husband and wife are now "one flesh" and as one flesh they are to be working together for the same goals with the unique gifts each has been given from the Lord both in the family and in the church. The illustration can be seen to demonstrate some of the dynamics of the family but it also does not demonstrate well that: Christ, the husband, and the wife abide as one.
How did we see this "one flesh" dynamic at work in last weeks lesson?
The illustration fails to demonstrate mutual submission.
Although we have looked closer at several of the Eph. 5:22-33 already we have not yet looked at vs 21 yet.
Who can read vs 21 now?
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ"
What do we see here in vs 21?
it is no accident that vs 21 that states that the husband and wife are to mutually submit to one another out of reverence to Christ comes first in this passage. Without this mutual submission out of reverence for Christ there can be no peace in the family.
Why would we say that? well let's take a second and go back to the beginning. Someone please read Gen. 3:16
"Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you." Gen 3:16
What was the results of the curse when it comes to the relationships of husband and wife?
Because of the curse there is a struggle that takes place in each family that is not mutually submitting to one another in reverence for Christ and that struggle is who will lead in the home. We see this in wives who use manipulations to get what they want and husbands who are bullish and overbearing with their wives. This is why God says the following to the wives and husbands of the church:
"In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live when they observe your pure, reverent lives. Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes. For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also beautified themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and are not frightened by anything alarming. Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with an understanding of their weaker nature yet showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered." (1 Peter :31-7)
Mutual submission and love toward one another in reverence to Christ is paramount to obtain the type of marriage God desires.
As you think of your own home how are you doing in the area of mutual submission. Something you have down pat or an area you still need to work on?
This is as far as we want to go tonight. Next week we will look more at the area of provisions in the home and how they are to be accomplished.
Now that we are into our second look at marriage and family what have been the hardest lessons learned for you so far?
What have you learned or been reminded thus far?
How has God spoken to you today?
In last week's lesson we started to look at the chart of the three umbrellas but we did not get to far in to the study when we took a pause to discuss in greater detail the significance of 1 Cor. 11:3 and Eph. 5:22-24
Could you give me a brief review of what we learned in last week concerning women/wives in the new testament church.
Could you give me a brief review of what we learned about Aquila and Priscilla and what we see from them concerning couples in ministry?
As we move on to today lesson it is important to keep what we learned from last weeks lesson in mind as it will serve as s foundation for all that will follow in today's lesson concerning this second umbrella.
The Husband:
The husband, the second umbrella comes with two (what are assumed to be) responsibilities.
As we have already discussed in detail the wife is under the husband's authority in the family there is no need to revisit that now; what we do want to look at is what is assumed to be the responsibility of the husband towards his wife and children. A brief look at the chart and the word of God shows that the chart does not give a complete and accurate illustration of these responsibilities.
Does the Bible say that the husband is to protect and also provide for the family? Well let us look and see what the Word of God does say about the responsibilities of the husband.
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (Eph. 5:25-33
Concerning Protection:
The illustration does not indicate whether "protect family" is physical protection, spiritual protection or both.
in vs 25 what do we see the husband is suppose to be like towards his wife?
What comparison are we given to convey this selflessness expected from the husband?
"The husband is to be willing to lay down his life for his wife just as Christ was willing to lay down his life for the church."
Throughout the New Testament we always see the comparison of Christ and the church with the husband and his wife. All that Christ has done for his church the husband is expected to do for his wife this includes being willing to lay down his life for the sake of his wife.
As we look at vs 26 could someone please read it?
"The husband is to wash his wife in the word of God just as Christ did for the church so that he can be able to present her to God without spot or blemish."
What other form of protection do we do see the husband is to provide his wife?
The husband is to protect his wife not only physically but spiritually as well.
Lets now take a closer look at this other category concerning provision:
Could we please read vs 33 again?
"He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church for we are members of his body,"
What do we see here in the area of responsibility for the husband?
The husband must make sure that the needs of his wife are met just as his own needs are met. If he loves his wife he loves himself.
There are a few problems with this simplified illustration of the family:
Could we please read vs 31 now on its own.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
At this point we see one of the first glaring problems with this illustration of umbrellas. Just as we abide in Christ and he in us so to the husband and wife have become one. The husband and wife are now "one flesh" and as one flesh they are to be working together for the same goals with the unique gifts each has been given from the Lord both in the family and in the church. The illustration can be seen to demonstrate some of the dynamics of the family but it also does not demonstrate well that: Christ, the husband, and the wife abide as one.
How did we see this "one flesh" dynamic at work in last weeks lesson?
The illustration fails to demonstrate mutual submission.
Although we have looked closer at several of the Eph. 5:22-33 already we have not yet looked at vs 21 yet.
Who can read vs 21 now?
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ"
What do we see here in vs 21?
it is no accident that vs 21 that states that the husband and wife are to mutually submit to one another out of reverence to Christ comes first in this passage. Without this mutual submission out of reverence for Christ there can be no peace in the family.
Why would we say that? well let's take a second and go back to the beginning. Someone please read Gen. 3:16
"Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you." Gen 3:16
What was the results of the curse when it comes to the relationships of husband and wife?
Because of the curse there is a struggle that takes place in each family that is not mutually submitting to one another in reverence for Christ and that struggle is who will lead in the home. We see this in wives who use manipulations to get what they want and husbands who are bullish and overbearing with their wives. This is why God says the following to the wives and husbands of the church:
"In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live when they observe your pure, reverent lives. Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes. For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also beautified themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and are not frightened by anything alarming. Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with an understanding of their weaker nature yet showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered." (1 Peter :31-7)
Mutual submission and love toward one another in reverence to Christ is paramount to obtain the type of marriage God desires.
As you think of your own home how are you doing in the area of mutual submission. Something you have down pat or an area you still need to work on?
This is as far as we want to go tonight. Next week we will look more at the area of provisions in the home and how they are to be accomplished.
Now that we are into our second look at marriage and family what have been the hardest lessons learned for you so far?
What have you learned or been reminded thus far?
How has God spoken to you today?
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Dig Deeper
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Dig Deeper
Below you can use the following links to:
1. Watch a video of this
lesson taught
2. Listen to this lesson
taught on MP3
3. Print this lesson
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